shrink me lovely … til i'm light as air

17th April 2012

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~*~

This night makes me want to start a “who I would fuck if I was single” tumblr




“hey sexy foreign dudes

let me take pix of you to put on my who id like to fuck but wont tumblr


::wink::

::very european kiss::” 




…ummmmmm girls fantasy much?



I am hating myself for turning those hotties away. But I love my bf.

17th April 2012

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HOLY SHIT

did I mention I weigh 122 lbs again and that I feel beautiful and some sexy French men though the same? Godfuckingdamnit. Fantasies dont make you a bad girlfriend though… HAHA right?!?!?!

17th April 2012

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apologies for diary usage

But it’s absolutely necessary sometimes. 

I literally just walked into my hotel room SCREAMING

UGH

sometimes i hate not being single.

I took my boyfriend to the airport tonight in San Francisco, so it’s my first night in the city alone for quite some time. And of course the only time I’ve been alone in the past couple years a group of very sexy French men are like, “heyy, what are you doing? We just got here. We don’t know what to do. Show us around?” And I’m like… “I just dropped my bf off at the airport. I’m so tired. You should go to the Boom Boom Room though. It’s really fun.”


FUCK ME

Dont get me wrong, I love my boyfriend. But sometimes I really wish I was single.

Like now.




Sitting alone in a hotel room being like…damn those Swedish and French men were finer than any Americans Ive seen in a damn good minute.





Oh well…
I  am a good girlfriend.



Told those hot ass foreigners I had a boyfriend.



Yes I am a good girl…



::halo at a slant:: 

3rd April 2012

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Hey guys. I haven’t been on for a while because I was trying to eat right and looking at this stuff doesn’t help that. So yeah I had a seizure at a show I really wanted to see at the bar, cops drug me out by my arms while I was half-conscious and my shit was still all over the floor. It had been a while since I had eaten and had just been flushing with water all day. Anyways that shit was kinda scary so I started eating again, at first normally but now I have been binging out and my metabolism is fucked so I’m back at 127. Not over 130 but damn it felt way better to be 122. And so the cycle ensues. It helps that my boyfriend has no clue I have an ED (well he has guessed it but I am so fucked in the head I’ve convinced myself I don’t have an ED so I am very convincing when I say I don’t have one - is something true if you really believe it?), so he pokes fun at me whenever I binge, which of course I’m oversensitive about. So I think he’s starting to see a little too clearly for comfort into my psyche here. Last night I said, “You should be glad I’m eating!” and he looked confused for a second and said, “Why should I be glad?” I stumbled over my words there. Whoops. Almost gave myself away. Anyways I’m back because I really need to stop binging again. I just ordered four badass and hellaciously sexy bathing suits for this summer, and I ordered them all size medium. They’d better be too big. I can just imagine what it’ll do to my head if I can’t fit into a medium, even though I know they run small there. Unfuckingacceptable. Alright enough ranting…

Hello again lovelies
xoxo